Waves of silence
by divergentandproudofit
Summary: Mockingjay from Annie Cresta's point of view. Finnick helps her get over her madness and release her past, shattering the confining walls she has built for herself. Please read and review! Rated T because I like my fanfiction account and I don't want to get it suspended. Title changed from Madness
1. Chapter 1

**I apologize in advance if this is hard to read, but I'm trying to make it be like how I imagine Annie would think, and her thoughts would sort of jumble together...**

It's strange here in District Thirteen.

The walls are all one color and the clothes are all one color and it's too quiet at night without the sound of the ocean to rock me to sleep.

But Finnick's here- here, with me, not in the Capitol - and I guess that's what really matters.

He's the only one who can keep away the demons that haunt me and disturb my sleep, seeping their way in through the cracks in the wall I built in my head.

My little sister Aislinn Cresta, who I saw killed right in front of my eyes.

My district partner in my Games, who got beheaded while trying to protect me.

My mother, abused and beaten by my father.

They all call out to me, asking for help, and I cover my ears so that I can't hear them.

And now Finnick's calling to me, saying Annie time to go in, it's starting to rain, but I won't leave yet.

It's been awhile since I felt rain wetness on my skin.

I stand for a moment, sticking out my tongue to taste the rain, and Finnick does it too.

It starts to thunder like like the sound of waves crashing on a beach, and Finnick says, Annie lets go now, and the demons repeat it, Annie lets go now Annie lets go now Annie lets go, until I clap my hands over my ears and tell them, quiet Aislinn and Mother and Sampson. It's time to go in now.

And we go in to the sameness of District Thirteen.

Finnick stops to talk to our friend Katniss and she says something about hijack and Peeta and I hope Peeta is okay because he's nice to me. Hijack reminds me of tracker jackers.

Flashback

"Sampson, that isn't a beehive, that's a tracker jacker nest. Don't touch it."

He retracts his hand. "Didn't know. Sorry, Annie."

Sampson swings down from the tree, but his pack gets caught on the tracker jacker nest and the whole branch comes down.

"Sampson! Run!"

He needs no urging. The two of us barrel through the forest, tailed by a swarm of genetically engineered bees.

End Flashback

Annie are you alright Finnick says and I nod because I really am.

Let's go back to the compartment now I say and Finnick takes my hand and leads me there

I get lost a lot in Thirteen

Thirteen like months in a year plus one

Thirteen like the age Aislinn was when she was killed.

And now my thoughts are all muddled so I try a technique that the head doctor suggested.

My name is Annie Cresta.

I love Finnick Odair.

My home is District Four.

I love water, and the ocean.

District Thirteen is boring.

I had a sister named Aislinn, a nice mother, and an abusive father.

The Capitol slaughtered them all.

I will have my revenge.

I'm less confused now, so I show Finnick what I found for him to decorate his one color apartment.

I saw a pinecone lying on the ground outside, so I saved it for Finnick.

I hold it out to him, and he says 'thank you Annie' and kisses me.

He is the light at the end of the tunnel. He can lead me out of my past, shatter the walls of the world I've created for myself, and make the madness leave me for good.

He is my hope. I love him more than anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry , this chapter is really short, but oh well...**

Tonight I dream of the Capitol and what they did to me while I was there.

Flashback

"Where's Finnick?"

"In the Arena,"l say, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth. That's where he is. Right?

The man grabs my arm and shoves me against the wall. "I said where is Finnick?"

"I don't know!" I scream, clawing at the man.

For once my demons are gone, but a real demon replaces them, hitting me with metal studded gloves. I can hear screams- my own, mixed with those of the girl in the cell next to me.

"Finnick!" I scream. "Finnick!"

But he doesn't appear, and I lapse into unconsciousness.

End Flashback

I breathe hard and fast, remembering

I was little and before Daddy left he was abusive. he drank too much and spent all our money on alcohol.

and in the corner mother appears, father hitting her at full force.

"Leven, please don't let Annie and Aislinn see this..."

Flashback

I huddle with six year-old Aislinn in the corner, hiding from Daddy.

Daddy must not see us. He's drunk and raging, whipping my mother with a belt over something that didn't happen.

Mother looks in our direction and mouths the words, _go outside_. Daddy is too intent on hurting Mother to notice.

I grab Aislinn's hand and make a run for it. It's cold and snowy outside, but it's better than inside with my father's heat and my mother's pain.

We sit by the house huddled under an old sack cloth waiting for morning to come.

End Flashback

I wake from my nightmare memories and Finnick is there holding my hand. It's ok now Annie they cant hurt you any more he says but its not true they can they can. I tell him this and he says they only hurt you if you let them.

I dont know what he means and my demons are dragging me down, down, down, into shadows and dark.

Poor Mother. She was kind and beautiful, just like Aislinn. And they are both gone. Murdered by the Capitol.

I gasp. The memories are pressing into me like a white hot knife and I can't breathe

Finnick Finnick Finnick don't leave yet it isn't over I am sinking back in to sleep.

I am in the Arena with Sampson and the life is bleeding out of him.

"Annie, you have to win. Go home. For me. And for Finnick."

I nod, tears streaming down my face.

"I will. I promise."


	3. Chapter 3

The head doctor tells me that I am safe here but the scars on my skin say something different.

They speak of screams and dreams and sleepless nights.

I close my eyes tight, remembering

When me and Finnick were mentors together, the Capitol people took him, swallowed him up, left me behind

And finnick still has nightmares about it.

Annie time to go in now Annie lets go now Annie lets go now Annie Annie annieletsgonow annieletsgonow annieletsgonow annieletsgonow...

No. No. NO!

There is always a method

To the madness.

Flashback

"Are you, are you, coming to the tree, where they strung up a man they say murdered three. Strange things did happen here no stranger would it be, if we met up at midnight in the hanging tree."

"Where'd you pick that one up?" I arch an eyebrow at Finnick.

He smiles. "A little bird taught me."

"Oh?"

I run lightly down to the beach, reveling in the feel of the sand in between my toes and the rain on my skin. I taste a raindrop on my tongue.

"Wanna dive?"

"Sure you could take me? Last I heard, you'd forgotten how to backflip."

He laughs. "There's always a method to the madness."


	4. Chapter 4

"Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams."

Scream scream every thing screams now Sampson and Aislinn and Mother and Finnick we all scream like mutts and frosted dolphins

No no no shut UP demons from the past can't focus can't cant can't

_My name is Annie Odair._

_I love Finnick._

_My home is District Four._

_District Thirteen is only one boring color._

_The Capitol slaughtered Sampson and Aislinn and Mother and Father._

_I will have my revenge._

"Annie, did you know it was Peeta who decorated your wedding cake? Back home his family ran the bakery and he did all the icing."

Sampson had a bakery too

Thanks sampson

"Thank you Peeta it was beautiful"

"My pleasure Annie"

Peeta is very nice

Finnick and I decide to go for a walk out side.

I found an acorn

So finnick makes a necklace out of long grass for me to put it on.

Thank you finnick I love you, I say because I do

I love you too annie he says and he kisses me just like last night I don't want it to end ever

I would drown to save my Finnick.


	5. Chapter 5

They say finnick cant see me because hes training to help in the war. They say no harm will come to him. They say they say they say...

I have learned something from life and it is this: people say a lot of things and not all of them are true.

_"Annie, you have to understand. This is for your own good," my father said right before he hit me._ not true.

_"Annie, don't worry. I'll never leave you behind, said Sampson. My district partner. Finnick's older brother. Practically my own brother._ not true. Where is Sampson now? He is up in the sky with Mother and Aislinn.

The only person I really truly trust is Finnick Odair. Sampson Odair is long gone.

Every one else scares me with their double meanings and two faces. Saying one thing and meaning something else. They look at me with pity in blue or green or gray or brown eyes, and I don't want their pity.

I want to go home, and hear the sound of the sea. I _need_ to feel cool water on my skin, and smell salt and hear the cry of the gulls. No matter how long I am here, District Thirteen will never be home.

So I pace this bland white room and remember.

The first time I met finnick, I was thirteen years old and scared to death.

_I sit on the wet rock, the wind blowing my tangled brown hair across my face. I can't control the sobbing. It hurts so, so badly to have your own father hit you, over and over..._

_I dive into the ocean with a desperation I can't contain._

_When I finally surface, swimming back towards the beach, I saw a tall boy standing on the shore. As I get closer, and see the toned muscles and bronze skin, I think I'm dreaming. He's the most beautiful human being I've ever seen._

_"Hello," he says as I stand up in the shallows. "Who are you?"_

_"I'm Annie. And you are?"_

_"Finnick. Finnick Odair." He extended his hand, and I was in love._


End file.
